TELL ME HOW NOT TO LOVE YOU?



Those words tells is all ...

How long would love last until you realize that it was all a lie?
How long would you have to endure the hurt until you found that love is all about hurt?
Every step you take is a slow painful cut that he made.
You cried with tears of sorrow but he denies you again and again.
How, I wonder, How did you held on?
Your sisters convicted not only you, but your brother,
Yet you stood firm and spread your wings against their enemies.
How did you do it?
Your heart, innocent and pure.
Fill with lasting love even for those you despise.
At the time when you watch both your enemy and love died right infront of you,
was it then you realise that love you had for him had died?
Of how he betrayed your loyalty and soul,
Of how he murdered your family one by one?
I thus feel pity upon you,
pity that you were trap in a world that was not yours,
to suffer the pain that was not yours,
to cry a river even if its not yours to cry..
How my heart ached for you at that moment..
But you would have to know,
It was your wrongs that led you to those moments.

-wrote this right after I watch 1/4 of the movie of Henry VIII, King of england. I'm writing about Mary Boleyn the Queen's(Anne Boleyn) sister who become Henry's mistress in order to bore him a son because she love the king with all her heart BUT I do not know her much.. cos i only watched 1/4 of the movie.. so I'm writing this base on what I felt at the end of the story >.< -

Apart from all these.. I miss my sister already T.T
WHY IS LIFE SO TOUGH?! WHY CANT EVERYONE LIVE HAPPILY AND STICK TO EACH OTHER? WHY MUST WE SEPERATE?! T.T

When she huged me and said her goodbyes..I almost cried infront of everyone.. It was so hard to let go, although I put on the usual smile on my face. But.. seeing her leave was as if loosing my best friend. I love my sister lots! Wait for me jie! I'm coming to you hopefully in another year time or next :) TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF! MUAX!

UGh... Today ... I've experienced ONE unforgettable... awkward moments! Ho Zhuxiao and Zhe Kai ( however do you spell his name? ). You 2 very "nice" .. Cooked up this little plan of yours. So embarrassing/awkward you know!

But lol, I can't believe I'm saying this..but.. thanks for the effort.. I know you guys cracked your head about how to get it to work (At the same time trying to find time to spend with each other xD ) . So, thank you .. but so sorry to say it will WONT work. My dearies, we are both living in different worlds, how could it have worked anyhow? B'sides, we barely know each other. Although you guys really have achieved to imprint the whole situation in my head -.-".
Oh no, that does not mean you are off the hook though .. as in.. I'll still find a way to torture you both ( ok, maybe only zhuxiao, since I barely know zhe kai.. ) >:)


BTW... I've got a very nice story to share with everyone.
Carrie showed me a story today.. a very sad story and this is how it goes:

By BEH YUEN HUI
A 17-YEAR-OLD skin cancer patient composed a song for her boyfriend during her final days.
The Mandarin song ‘Zui Hou Yi Ci’ (For the last time) was uploaded on the Internet and became a hit within a few days.
To date, the video clip has been duplicated into several versions and has been viewed 620,000 times.
It is learnt this Malaysian teenager had died.
According to the description in the video, the teenager was very close to her boyfriend and the couple had decided to get married upon graduating.
One day, she underwent a check-up in school and doctors found abnormality in her blood protein.
Further examinations confirmed that the girl had an uncommon skin cancer. She had only one year to live.
The teenager started writing a dairy. From here, she realised that her boyfriend was so important and had become part of her life.
She wanted to give him a present.
During her final days, she wrote him a song and sang for him for the last time.
“I can no longer see the sun rises but I am not afraid because I have you by my side. I love you.” This is the last thing she said to him.
After the teenager died, the boyfriend had been travelling around the world to take photos of the sunrise in memory of his loved one.
Edited by someone by the name of Ah Bee, the video description also mentioned the boyfriend also died a year later.
He had slipped and fell while hiking a hill to snap the sunrise photos.





lyrics:

English version lyric. (Credit for changetheworld forum member)

"Lovynn Kan"

*Chorus Start*

Before I close my eyes for the last time
I wish to tell you I love you
In your embrace, don't wish to let go
In my heart, thousands of words I have yet to tell you
I used all my strength to keep my eyes from closing
After this farewell, there will be no more meetings, no more can I be by your side
But please don't forget
You promised me you will live on as well as you can

I'm leaving first, leaving for a faraway place
I won't be able to watch the sunrise with you anymore
I won't be able to wait for dawn
Erasing all the memories, is not an easy thing
But life & death are predestined, don't be too sad


在我最后一次 闭上眼睛之前
我想对你说我爱你
在你怀里 舍不得放弃
心里有千万语还没说给你听
我使尽全力 不想闭上眼睛
这次告别就不能再相遇
不能再陪你 但不要忘记
你曾经答应我你会好好活下去
先走了 去了好远的地方
不能再陪你看日出 等不到天亮
所有回忆 抹去 却并不容易
生死由天决定 不要太伤心
在我最后一次 闭上眼睛之前
我想对你说我爱你
在你怀里 舍不得放弃
心里有千万语还没说给你听
我使尽全力 不想闭上眼睛
这次告别就不能再相遇
不能再陪你 但不要忘记
你曾经答应我你会好好活下去
在我最后一次 闭上眼睛之前
我想对你说我爱你
在你怀里 舍不得放弃
心里有千万语还没说给你听
我使尽全力 不想闭上眼睛
这次告别就不能再相遇
不能再陪你 但不要忘记
你曾经答应我你会好好活下去
我 永远 爱你。

I miss someone ~
I miss miss miss someone ~
If only you knew ~
HOw much I miss you ~




~ Whenever I hear this music, I think of you, like I always do, silently. Sometimes.. I just wish I was good enough for you... But sadly, Our hearts do not meet. ~

~ Broken hearts ~ Elle

YOU again! YOU make my day damn pissed off! wtf is it with u??! I gave you a chance to tell the truth! YOU BLEW IT And you made it worst? I really hope you will be cursed! I am gonna officially forget about you! CUT OFF CONTACT! DO not ask me why if I never reply you.. you yourself should know why! GOOD LUCK FINDING A FRIEND THAT CAN TRUST YOU!

OK .. I've decided to chill and not talk about that person :)

Lets start a new topic.. EMO topic.. hehehe..

OK.. this is how it goes... only a few days left before we are going on our own journey again. :( sad isn't it? Friends that we have already start to click with. Just when we start to know each other well, we have to move on. I do hope that we will get together again someday and share all our best times together and NOT FORGETTING each other! :) *heart you guys lots! Thank you for making my college life wonderful!*

Hahahaha.. you .. you.. you liar! .. Damn you for telling a lie! you go around being such a nice person. Smiling and being TOO NICE and friendly. You go around throwing bloody signs to everyone showing how bloody lonely you are. Darn you for that it is all a bloody lie! Oh, do not worry for I have not fallen into your trap. I am lucky to say I was protected and warned about how your deceiving acts can lure people into your hands! But I admit that there is ONE THING that you have really made me mad about which is destroying the trust and friendship between us just when I thought you are not as bad as they say you were. Thank Goodness I see what a retard you really are!

P.s : THERE IS NO WONDER WHY YOU ARE A LONELY RETARDED PERSON! I JUST HOPE YOU CHANGE BEFORE ITS TOO LATE! OR... MAYBE YOU SHOULD JUST ROT AND DIE!

Today I'm crazy maths!!
I've been doing maths the whole morning 'till now.. and I plan to do it later and tomorrow! @.@ My head is gonna explode! Too many numbers! figures!
eeeeeeaaaa... this effort better let me pass my maths!!

Maths Quotes that I found online: (That really suits my mood now)

--Math,
--The devil's language,
--How do mathematicians stay alive?
--Did they sell their souls for massive brains?
--Why is math so hard?

!!-X and Y substitute each other,
!!-Figures transform into another,
!!-Design reflect, rotate amd translate,
!!-My answer is : " I DON"T GET IT! "

SSIGH.... how time flies. Finals is a few weeks away... I feel tense.. scared.. I NEED HOPE.. I NEED PRAYER! I NEED HELP! H - E - L - P! I'm putting my effort in it.. so hopefully my effort will NOT GO TO WASTE! *PRAYS*

ITs been how many days? I'm still feeling guilty about something.. :(
GUILT .. what guilt you ask? its the guilt where I feel as if I'm "ditching" my friends. Sorry you guys. I know I rejected prom night and QY's open house. P-lease do not be angry. I've got reasons for not being able to attend. I hope you understand.
I still can remember QY's reaction when I told her I'm not going. She looks VERY disappointed. T.T I feel so guilty and sad too.. I wanted to go.. but stupid exam is around the corner and I know I have to control myself. Besides, my parents do not allow me to go either.
And for Prom night.. to Z .. Well since I was with you during that "scary" lunch hour with that weirdo.. I hope me and Diane made it even now. :D

Ok.. gonna stop here.. have to sleep early for classes tomorrow . I SO DO NOT WISH TO ATTEND ESL. DAMN BORING! we're having debate tomorrow which has practically nothing to do with our exam? -.-YEESH.. waste my precious time sitting there.

ANywAYzzzz....
I HOPE I CAN MAKE IT THROUGH MY EXAMS! SHOUTS OUT LOUD: "I CAN DO IT!"